Team Boy!

I often said when I was younger “I’m going to have a football team when I grow up!!” It was a deep-rooted feeling I would have a brood of boys surrounding me. Was it because I was “the only girl” out of four siblings. Was it because I was always drawn to “boy baby dolls” (I was obsessed with my Timmy Tears doll in his sailor suit. Tiny Tears not so much. She was often put on the “naughty step” aka lashed under my bed!!). Was it because I doted on my baby brother and never let him out of my sight? I don’t know…I just knew I was going to be a “boy mama”!

I didn’t meet my now husband till I was 31. After being incredibly selfish and spending all of our hard-earned money on holidays and expensive wine for the first few years of our relationship, Mr H and I eventually began working on that football team that I dreamed of…..Things didn’t happen as quickly (or as easily) as we thought. So, after a lot of waiting and wondering (and a bit of help) I finally saw those two pink lines. At 6:34am on 28 August 2022. I knew I was going to have a boy….

Now I probably should have started learning my dinosaur names then – a Compsognathus and a Coelophysis are totally different. And don’t get me started on the differences between the Stegosaurus and the Kentrosaurus…But I didn’t, I floated in my blissful baby bubble thinking I had all the time in the world to figure out the Jurassic and Triassic period. I spent my pregnancy daydreaming who my baby would look like. Buying neutral baby clothes – but always for some reason being drawn to the “boy section” – and usually left feeling deflated at the lack of choice of boys clothing.

Then bang, here we are. 2.5 years have flown by in the blink of an eye (yes I know it’s a tired cliché but it’s true!). Some days I feel like I have blinked and suddenly, I have a wild toddler who doesn’t understand “no”, can live on cucumber and bananas and whose favourite word is “why?” (oh boy are we in the “why” era right now!!). I mean I am definitely doing him a disservice with that description, but you know some days that is exactly what it feels like. Having a toddler is a glorious fast paced haze of cutting up berries, wiping snotty noses, shouting “get down from there” and grabbing scooters before they roll into someone’s ankles/a poor unsuspecting dog/the road. 

But in the calm quiet of night after we have read a selection of Curious George books, discussed how many days till his birthday (and Christmas), spoken about our plans for the next day and then had a good 10 minutes of “mama pat me” – anyone else’s child need some bum patting in order to sleep? I sit back in amazement at this small boy and how truly wonderful he is…..

How can someone so young be so caring and empathetic? “Mama are you ok? You look sad!” – I was staring into space and feeling a bit jaded after a particularly stressful day at work. 

How can someone so young be:
- So hilarious? His dinosaur version of sleeping bunnies is a hoot. 
- So inquisitive? “But how do they know a Parasaurolophus made a honking sound?”. 
- So loving? His kisses that range from slobbery snotty ones to light feathery butterfly ones with his eyelashes all make my heart sing.
- So energetic? A 3-mile scooter ride, followed by a few laps of the garden, then begging to go to the play park and finally rounding off the day with some sofa wrestling with dada!!
- So perfect? Ha! How do I even qualify that? Is it the way his blonde curls escape from his hair tie? Or his cheeky smile when I give in and get up to peel his 5th mini cucumber of the day. Or the way he "shnuggles" into me on the sofa and the weight of his head sinks into me. Or just the way his hands reach up and twirl my hair, wrapping it – and me – around his fingers….. Or is it something that I can't even see or tangibly feel. Is it because I feel like he is a gift. Because he gave me a purpose. Because he is my light at the end of a dark tunnel. Did Hurricane George blow into our lives to totally shake things up and not only allow me, but the whole family to feel love and laugher again? I don’t know……

But what I do know (while reaching for a glass of pinot noir after a hectic day of dinosaur talk) is whilst I may not have the football team I dreamt of. I did get my boy, who has brought energy to match the entire NFL (we’re an American Football family) and a copious, overflowing amount of loud, energetic, impishly beautiful love.

Contributing Article written by: Lizzy Hankinson

I'm Lizzy mama to George. When I'm not discussing dinosaur names or what trains pass through our local station I can be found at a Zumba or Pilates class. Things that make me smile include a nice red wine, a trip to the theatre, a "picky bits" supper, microneedling facials, the NFL and planning fun days out and activities for my little family. I'm very much an amateur writer and dabble in writing little poems, usually about life with George.